Friday, May 31, 2013

Studs and Duds: Bron Bron's World

By Jeremy Conlin and Joe Parello

Studs and Duds is a weekly feature on Suite Sports. Who had a good week? Who had a bad week?


LeBron Doe

The Pacers outplayed, outshot and seemed to outsmart the Miami Heat during a pivotal game five in South Beach.

LeBron Doe.

HE PUTS DA TEAM ON HIS [Expletive Deleted] BACK DOE!!!

Now, let the conversations start about how LeBron's third quarter Thursday was just what Jordan did every night. Go ahead, you know you want to remind everyone that Jordan was better.


Jacoby Ellsbury


While watching the Heat-Pacers game at a local establishment that serves beer, I also happened to see a part of a baseball game out of the corner of my eye on an adjacent television set. According to that television set, Jacoby Ellsbury went 3-for-4 last night and stole five bases, a Red Sox franchise record. I suppose that's good.


Avrind Mahankali

After finishing third in the Scripps National Spelling Bee the last two years, the 13-year old from New York took home first place at this year's "greatest spectacle in spelling."

Also, the recap of his victory on has this solid gold lead.

"Arvind Mahankali has conquered his nemesis, the German language, to win the Scripps National Spelling Bee on Thursday night…"

In case you're wondering, the winning word was "knaidel," which we can only assume is either a lewd sex act or something you get for Chanukah.



Urban Meyer 40 Times

Urban Meyer won a pair of National Titles at Florida, and already led the Outlaw-Buckeyes to an undefeated season last year. Clearly, the man knows football, but he seems to have a little trouble operating a stop watch.

You see, when Meyer was at Florida, he posted these ridiculous "40 yard dash" times.

Never mind the fact that world class sprinter Jeff Demps, a Gator running back at the time, didn't even crack the top-10, look at those times! Chris Rainey ran a 4.24, are you kidding me? That would tie the fastest 40 time in NFL history if it were true.

Fortunately, it wasn't even close to being true. Rainey ran a 4.45. Still good, but nowhere near the all-time speed Meyer claimed. In fact, if these numbers were true, Meyer would have five of the 20 fastest players in NFL history on his current roster, and that's not even counting Demps. If you're curious, Haden ran a 4.57, not a 4.33.

Seriously, Meyer's 40 times make guys talking about the size of their junk look honest. Now, he's struck again with this list of Buckeye player 40 times.

Yes, that's right, Ohio State quarterback Braxton Miller is faster than Mike Wallace, and cornerback Bradley Roby is faster than anybody currently in the NFL not named Chris Johnson.



Everyone Who Voted For The NBA's Defensive Player of The Year

Even when the results were announced, Roy Hibbert finishing 10th seemed rather ridiculous.

It's even more ridiculous now that it's evident that Hibbert being on the floor completely changes the way LeBron James attacks a defense. Through five games, James shoots 49 percent when Hibbert is on the floor, and just 22 of his 87 shot attempts (25.2 percent) are from within five feet of the basket. 34 of his 87 shots (39 percent) are two-point jump shots. When Hibbert is OFF the floor, James is shooting 67 percent, and 11 of his 18 shot attempts (61 percent) are within five feet of the basket.

Hibbert produces a response for LeBron that no other big man in the league has produced. But he was only 10th in the league in the DPOY voting? Please. I personally wouldn't have put him in the top spot, if only because if real-life NBA referees called Defensive Three Second Violations as strictly as the refs in 2K13 did, Hibbert's camping in the paint would result in 10 free points per game (minimum) for the other team. But 10th is just stupid.


Texas A&M Scheduling

The Aggies dropped Oregon and USC from future schedules, probably to follow their SEC brethren in scheduling directional schools from Louisiana. I get that you have to "schedule smart" if you want a shot at the national championship, but the lack of marquee inter-conference matchups is making college football impossible to rank.

If the best teams from each conference don't play each other some of the time, how on Earth are we supposed to gauge the strength of conferences and, ultimately, crown a champion? Yeah, you're right, I guess we can assume the best team in the SEC will be the best in the country until the end of time. Things never change, after all.