Friday, May 10, 2013

Studs and Duds: Flipping Out

By Jeremy Conlin and Joe Parello

Studs and Duds is a weekly feature on Suite Sports. Who had a good week? Who had a bad week?


Filomena Tobias

This Florida woman, now famous for violently flipping off Chicago's Joakim Noah after he was ejected from game two of the Bulls' playoffs series against the Miami Heat, is all kinds of awesome. First of all, she captures the essence of a very particular kind of South Floridian: The Rich Trash.

Yeah, she has money, but you have no idea how she got it (Well, according to Deadspin she married four different rich dudes, and was accused of killing one of them). And, instead of being classy with her money, she throws it in everyone's face and just generally acts like she's better than you, despite the fact that she has done nothing in her life to earn said money. And just look at that guy she's with, he's clearly miserable and trying to convince himself that he's happy. Awesome.

Does she give some of that money to charity, or at least use it help out friends and family? Nope, looks like she spends it all on jewelry, pants that should only be worn by someone 20 years younger, pills and Heat tickets.

The craziest thing about this is the pride it gave my fellow native South Floridians. Instantly, memes were made showing her as a sign of Miami's attitude and toughness. Seriously, this is the way we want the rest of the country to view us. Like, for reals.

Man, I miss South Florida.


Stephen Curry's Third Quarters

Not including Wednesday's Game 2, Stephen Curry was 32-for-46 from the field and 17-for-26 from three in postseason third quarters. For those of who not well-versed in basketball parlance, that's what we call "really good." When you weight for three point-shots being worth more than two point-shots (durr), Curry's effective field goal percentage was north of 88 percent. EIGHTY-MOTHER[expletive deleted]ING-EIGHT PERCENT.

It's borderline unfair. I mean, he's making threes off one goddamn foot. Then there was this show he put on in Game 4 against Denver. It's beyond description.

Every now and then I get on a roll when I'm playing NBA 2K13. Like, a real roll. I'm forcing turnovers, making threes, my pick-and-roll game is leading to corner threes or wide-open dunks, and by halftime I'm up like 71-39, and my point guard (usually Ty Lawson) will have like 21 points on 12 shots to go along with double-digit assists. And I'll think to myself "you know, this is too easy. Maybe I should finally make the step up from Superstar to Hall of Fame, or at least move my sliders below the standard simulation levels." I think this because I like to maintain some semblance of realism. One season I played LeBron at center and he averaged a 39/14/12, and it was actually somewhat disappointing, just because it seemed so out of whack with reality.

That's what Stephen Curry is doing in 3rd quarters. In real life. In the playoffs.


Fifth-Year Basketball Transfers

Count me in as somebody that never wants to see this fifth-year transfer loophole closed. For those that don't know, an NCAA Division I athlete can transfer, without the penalty of sitting out a year, if they graduate on time and have a year of eligibility remaining. This usually comes into play for a player that redshirted their freshman year or missed a season due to injury at some point.

There's some technicality about the new school needing a graduate program you couldn't get at your old school, but that's easy to get around.

In football, Russell Wilson transferred to Wisconsin and led the Badgers to the Rose Bowl, but no sport utilizes this rule quite like men's basketball. There is practically an entire "5th-year" recruiting circuit for major conference teams, as they scour the mid-majors for a spot up shooter or rugged defender/rebounder that can complete their roster.

No doubt, it sucks for the mid-major programs that redshirted these players, but this is the ONE place in college athletics where the players have leverage over the coaches/universities. Also, it gives players like Valparaiso's Brandon Wood the chance to realize their dreams. Transferring to Michigan State gave Wood the chance to play Big Ten hoops, an opportunity he didn't have coming out of high school.

Of course, you have to graduate on time, or you could end up like Purdue's Sandi Marcius. The 6-foot-10 center asked for his release from Boilermaker coach Matt Painter, but still needed two summer school classes to graduate. With tuition, books, and room and board, that amounts to around $7,000.

Painter and Purdue gave Marcius the proverbial "Good luck with that!"


Tomas Vokoun

You won't see me write about hockey all that much, but Pittsburgh goalie Marc-Andre Fleury has been terrible in the playoffs lately. Now, Fleury is really good when he's on, but it's hard to predict when that will be. So, the Pens went out and grabbed 36-year old Tomas Vokoun to, hopefully, provide a little stability between the pipes.

Vokoun hadn't started a playoff game since 2007, but he was spectacular in a critical game five against the Islanders Thursday, stopping 31 shots and blanking New York as the Penguins rolled 4-0. Pittsburgh is so explosive offensively that if they can just get decent goaltending, it's hard to see anybody beating them.

The savvy vet may be just what the doctor ordered.



Hooters is having a Mother's Day special. Yes, you read that right, bring your mom to Hooters on Mother's Day and she eats free. I mean, your mom will hate you, but I must tip my cap to you, Hooters, for this brilliant promotion.

"No, today is all about you mom!!"



Dan Snyder

I mean, we could really put Dan Snyder in this category every week, but this week he truly earned it. Terrible personnel decisions, unethical business practices and general d-bagness aside, Snyder took the leap into full-on insensitivity this week.

When asked if his team will give in to outside pressure and change its totally racist and incredibly offensive name, Snyder responded in the douchiest way possible.

"We'll never change the name," Snyder told USA Today. "It's that simple. NEVER -- you can use caps."

Well, they only used caps for that one word but you get the point. Either way, at some point things need to change. You can say "culture" and "tradition" all you want, but their name isn't the "Indians" or the "Chiefs," it's the Redskins, a clearly derogatory term for Native Americans.

It's the equivalent of naming a team the "Honkies" or "White Devils."


The NBA's Set Start Dates for The Conference Finals 

The NBA Conference Finals have to start either on May 21st or 22nd.

Because of that, the league office doesn't want a long layover between the end of Round 2 and the start of Round 3. So to remedy this, they play Game 2 of the Knicks-Pacers and Thunder-Grizzlies series on Tuesday, and Game 3 on.... Saturday. Yeah, three full days off between games. Keep in mind, all four of these teams won Round 1 in a Game 6 on last Friday night, and then the Game 1 was Sunday afternoon. So they only get a day and a half between series, but they get three days off between Games 2 and 3?


The worst part about it is that we were left without any games Thursday night. Why not stagger some of these games so we're not left with empty game nights and three days between games? I don't know. I think that makes too much sense.


The Miami Marlins

Not only are the Marlins the worst team in baseball, not only is nobody going to their games, not only is their tacky fish-themed stadium going to cost Miami taxpayers over a billion dollars, and not only is Little Havana seeing absolutely no economic stimulation from said stadium's construction, but they're actually making my other team (the Pittsburgh Pirates) look like a well run organization.

God help us all.