Friday, April 11, 2014

March Mascot Melee™: The Championship Match

It's on.
 By Jeremy Conlin (@jeremy_conlin) and Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe)

Well, it's been a long time coming. We've spent the last month whittling down the 64 most fierce mascots in each of the four American major sports down to just two. The tournament has been top-heavy, with two No. 1 seeds (Titans and Devils) and two No. 2 seeds (Angels and Magic) advancing to the Final Four. The Titans and Magic advanced, and thus here we are.

The Final: 1. Tennessee Titans vs 2. Orlando Magic

The Case for The Magic, by Jeremy

It's been basically the same argument in each of the last two rounds. Against both the Wizards and Devils, Magic gained the upper hand by being an ephemeral force that can't actually be seen. Because it can't be seen, it can't really be attacked. And because it has no physical form, it can't really be destroyed. Titans, the first of the Greek Gods, are immortal. But what is more desirable in a fight - being immortal or being literally indestructible?

Immortal means you can't die. But it doesn't mean you can't be incapacitated to the point that you can no longer fight the battle at hand. You can have your body completely destroyed, but your soul and spirit would live on. For the purposes of this tournament, I'd say that's not as valuable as being indestructible.

If you go up to a layman on the street and ask "how do you destroy a Titan?" they might have some difficulty answering. But eventually they'd probably come up with something along the lines of just being bigger and stronger (or cleverer) than the Titan. Then if you ask the same person "how do you destroy Magic?" their response will probably look something like:

It's not just that Magic is indestructible, it's that you wouldn't even know how to destroy it if it wasn't. Even if Magic isn't powerful enough to destroy a Titan in a timely manner, it would win by default by virtue of having no tangible weakness. At the absolute least, it's a stalemate (the Titan can't destroy Magic, but the Titan is immortal and therefore never loses itself). Best-case scenario, though, is that the powers of Magic actually transcend the notion of immortality, and are able to destroy a Titan in a way previously incomprehensible - so thoroughly pummeling the Titan that the idea of "immortality" becomes irrelevant.

It wouldn't be an easy fight, but there's no way that Magic can lose.

The Case for The Titans, by Joe

Well, you haven't exactly left me with a whole lot of wiggle room, but allow me to get creative.

If we are conceding that this fight is taking place in a world where both titans and magic are real, then I think these powerful Gods have a slightly better shot than you're giving them credit for. Why? Well, in this world of ancient Gods and supernatural forces, where does magic come from?

Well, in this world it would have to come, like everything else in existence, from Gaia, the primal Greek mother goddess who birthed the Earth and the rest of the universe. So, we have to assume that, in some way, Gaia created the power of magic, and that all of her children (the Titans and Gods of Olympus) were given the power to wield it.

By the old logic of "I brought ya into this world, and I'll take you out of it," (which was hurtful, dad), the titans could go cry to their mommy while battling the entity of magic, and she could simply remove it from existence.

The Conclusion, Also by Joe

All that being said, magic isn't fighting the titans' mom, it is fighting the titans, and their inability to remove the supernatural forces from our theoretical world gives magic the upper hand. It's a somewhat boring decision, but one that we probably should have seen coming.

The winner of March Mascot Melee™, and the most powerful mascot in all the land is: The Orlando Magic. Of course, if this had just been a battle between that weird dragon and goofy raccoon above, the result would have been the same.

Winner: Magic

Here's a final look back at all of our tournament brackets, starting with the MLB, then moving onto the NBA, NFL and NHL, before our final bracket of the Suite 16 and beyond.
MLB Bracket: Click to enlarge
NBA Bracket: Click to enlarge
NFL Bracket: Click to enlarge
NHL Bracket: Click to enlarge
Suite 16: Click to enlarge

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