Thursday, September 1, 2016

Bob Lobel: Brady's New Haircut

By Bob Lobel (@boblobel)

Why do I think Tom Brady didn't order a "boys regular" when he went in to have his hair styled? Tom doesn’t get it cut at SuperCuts, he gets it styled at some place you can't pronounce. 

We used to go in and order Arnold Palmers. Now it's going to be “please give me a Tom Brady.” 

Everyone will know what you're talking about. 

Weighing in on the dumbest conversation of all time on talk radio (which is saying a lot), I personally have been part of some pretty dumb conversations. So, it seems fantasy sports is taking its toll on the level of sports conversation. Something is dumbing down the sports intellect out there. The phrase “sports intellect” is, in itself, a ridiculous concept. Like jumbo shrimp, but I digress. 

There is no doubt that “fantasy sports” are robbing us of any serious thinking and analysis. The perfect example are the inane, never ending, opinions on the Patriot quarterback status. Brady vs Garoppolo: Do they like each other? Is Tom jealous, insecure, being a baby, a trouble maker? Is Belichick mismanaging this very delicate, ego-laced situation by playing Tom too much or at all n the pre season?

Why are we constantly talking about something that is based on pure conjecture, when the answers can't be given until well after game five in Cleveland, when haircut boy comes out of the Roger Goodell jail? Really, who the hell has any clue as to what is about to transpire. Answer: Fantasy sports players and fans seem to have taken to this  crazy conversation like a radiologist reads an MRI. 

Blah, blah, blah. 

Yes, as a former host, back when the world was flat, I would concur that these slow dog days of the sports calendar lend themselves to talking about anything we can drag up. Reality is a missing piece of this action. Soon, we will get back to real stuff like “why is Junichi Tazawa still here?” 

Or better yet, why is he still being used? Why is John Farrell perceived as not being as smart as the fans, or as passionate about winning as the fans? 

How is it that David Ortiz has become such a lovable player when he was vilified for years for his selfishness and boorish behavior, with his constant bitching with umpires and body language that was not in any way positive? Ever since david Price called him out about how he thought Ortiz put himself above the game, things seem to have changed. 

Ortiz is a different guy today, and I don’t think its about celebrating his last season. Maybe the Red Sox should adopt an available insect like the Royals and their praying mantis. They could even have a mantis bobble head night. Watch for it. 

Thinking as an entomologist that is a Red Sox fan, what would be an appropriate insect to connect to the universe with? Deer tick? Ant? Moth? Mosquito? Bee? 

That’s it… Bees!  For all the B players. So, how many Bs? Betts, Bradley, Bogaerts, Brock, Benentendi, Barnes, Butterfield?
At least seven, and maybe more. 

Do you put 7 bees in a jar and carry it around from game to game? How do you keep them alive? How do you do Bee bobble heads? Maybe the  Royals should just keep the bug franchise and see how far it gets them. 

So much for that talk show conversation. 

Finally, if you had to introduce a true sports legend and one of the greatest athletes ever in his sport to a crowd of people at a big event, how would you handle that enormous responsibility? Someone in our midst had to do just that and absolutely nailed it. For the generation that witnessed him and for the generations  to come, this will serve as the perfect description of what you saw or what you missed. 

Next time we will bring that "must read" introduction, that should be required reading in all Massachusetts schools. 

Until then, no more "boys regular" for me.

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