Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Your Team Isn't "Likable"

Sorry Bret Michaels, even your favorite team isn't likable. Ps, BRING BACK ROCK OF LOVE!!
By Joe Parello  @HerewegoJoe

I was reading through one of my favorite blogs this morning and saw an article that stated "The Steelers Don't Seem as Likable These Days."

Well, the article was actually called "The Steelers could take a public relations lesson from the Pirates," but the little thumbnail just said they weren't as likable. That article comes from a great site called and, as a huge Steelers fan, it is my blog of choice when reading about the Men of Steel.

Obviously, I agree with the sentiment. Maurkice Pouncey, Pittsburgh's incredibly talented center, made the mistake of wearing a "Free Hernandez" hat recently in support of his former University of Florida teammates Aaron Hernandez, a man charged with murder.

Ben Roethlisberger has been accused of sexual assault multiple times, Santonio Holmes told a fan to kill himself on Twitter, James Harrison turned himself into the NFL's public enemy No. 1, Rashard Mendenhall essentially stated that 9/11 was an inside job, and Lamarr Woodley was rumored to be out of shape last season.

That's a lot to not like, and for the average fan, that may make you less likely to pay attention to the team. Same thing happened over the last few years here in Boston with the Red Sox.

But, ultimately, as a fan of that team, you're going to "like" your team if they win. When the Steelers were going to and winning Super Bowls, they weren't any more "likable." Roethlisberger was still a scum bag, Harrison was still crazy, Mendenhall was still an idiot and Holmes was a constant distraction.

The point is, everyone that wasn't a Steelers fan had plenty of reasons to hate those teams. The Steelers weren't "likable," despite what Pittsburgh fans might think, and neither is your favorite team.

Here is a list of teams whose fans will swear to you they're "likable" and "do things the right way," along with reasons to hate them. A note to fans from New York and Boston: Your teams are never likable.


Pittsburgh Steelers: All the reasons above and, my God, they show up with their dirty towels in EVERY city.

Green Bay Packers: Really caring about your team is great, but when it's the only thing you care about it's a little sad. Small town charm is overrated and Brett Favre has a small penis.

Indianapolis Colts:
So, you got the Peyton Manning glory years, then happened to suck the year Andrew Luck was coming out… Yeah, you're right, I should really root for you lucky sons of bitches.


Indiana Pacers: I don't care that your team was built "the right way" around a "plucky" 7-foot-2 "underdog." Well, at least they got rid of Tyler Hansbrough.

Oklahoma City Thunder:
I know we're supposed to feel sorry for Oklahoma right now and the team does draft well, but I still hope Westbrook and Durant leave in free agency eventually. I mean, they will.

LA Clippers: Oh, so you suck forever in America's second-largest market, and the minute you become decent and watchable we're just supposed to forget that your owner is a miserable, racist prick that doesn't care about the product on the floor?


Tampa Bay Rays: You guys just have it all figured out don't you? Small pay rolls and no fans, yet you still find ways to win and stay relevant… F#%* you.

Baltimore Orioles: We get it, you're a real city too and your team has some history. We get it, you feel inferior to the Sox and Yanks, but please shut up about Cal Ripken. Playing a bunch of games in a row is a crappy record. Nobody worships A.C. Green.

Chicago Cubs: I'm sorry, but the fact that your whole fan base has developed Stockholm syndrome for this miserable franchise that has held your emotions hostage doesn't make you likable. Still, Wrigley is awesome.


Chicago Blackhawks: Patrick Kane.

Detroit Red Wings: Well I guess since Detroit is going to hell in a hand basket we can just give them hockey…

Montreal Canadiens: You spelled "Canadians" wrong Frenchy.

College Sports

Butler Basketball: I swear, your team isn't even that good, those scrappy white guys just happen to hit shots at the most opportune times. Why can't my team catch breaks like this?!?!

Boise State Football: I know you guys are cheating, or recruiting absolute thugs, or using steroids, or something… Some crappy school in Idaho shouldn't be good at something people actually care about.

Gonzaga Basketball:
They're a lot like Duke (white), if Duke were a worse school and the team always flamed out in the round of 32.

Stanford Football: Soon to be the Duke Basketball of college football.

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