NBA Free Agency Fear Rankings

Chris Paul headlines the 2013 Free Agent Class

(Editor's Note: We're happy to welcome a guest post from Josh Garvey, a Pistons fan, facial hair enthusiast, and the unofficial president of the Chris Paul Man-Crush Association)

By Josh Garvey

Instead of just ranking the NBA free agents in a normal fashion, I'd like to discuss the amount of terror hearing "My team just signed (insert name here)!" inspires in you.  All of this is, as always, dependent on contract, but it's my best guess.

Tier 1 – No terror: This is reserved for players who are very likely to meet the value of their contract and not give you excessive headaches

• Chris Paul: Well, he's not going anywhere, but hey, he’s the best, so you knew he would get some love.
• David West: His game seems to be aging well, and I don't think anyone is going to throw a particularly long contract at him. Also, most likely going nowhere.
• Paul Millsap: Doesn't seem the type to get overpaid, good locker room guy, fairly consistent, hustles.
• Chris Andersen: His age means he probably won't get an excessively long contract, one of the best bench energizers, incredibly fun saying "BIRDMAN, BIRDMAN" and "CAW CAW CAW" every time he does anything.
• Timofey Mozgov: HE PUTS FEAR IN HIS OPPONENTS, NOT THOSE WHO ARE ON HIS SIDE.