Friday, May 9, 2014

Seven Sports Questions Asked By Attractive Celebrities

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe)

Last week, we brought you first installment in our new series of click bait articles.

That Pulitzer-worthy blog featured adorable animals asking all the burning sports questions of the day. Not gonna lie, it's going to be tough to top that one. But, if there's one thing people love to stare at on the internet other than cute animals (and, uh, other stuff), it's a beautiful famous person.

With that in mind, we bring you everything you need to know about sports this week, asked by a bunch of people far more attractive than you or I.

"Which Free-Falling QB Will Have the Better Career; Johnny Manziel or Teddy Bridgewater?" -Channing

Both are actually going into decent situations, as the Browns and Vikings each have young talent at receiver and established running backs. If you want early success, I'll go with Manziel, due to his escape ability and superior improvisation.

Plus, it doesn't hurt that the AFC North is a bit down this year, with Pittsburgh and Baltimore not their usual selves. Meanwhile, Bridgewater projects to be the better long-term option, with great accuracy and anticipation within the framework of an offense.

He'll take his lumps, and I doubt he'll win many shootouts early in his career against Aaron Rodgers, Jay Cutler or Matthew Stafford, but two months ago we were talking about Bridgewater as a "can't miss" prospect.

Then he had a rough pro day and everyone freaked out.

I'll go with the extensive evidence of his game film over that one rough day throwing against air and say he's gonna be pretty good.

"How Awesome is the 'Jersey Guarantee' the New England Patriots Are Offering?" -Mean Girls Era Lindsey

Pretty awesome, but it could be 75 percent more awesome. Currently, the Patriots are offering fans a 25 percent discount on their next jersey purchase if you buy a player's jersey and he is not with the team a year later.

First of all, could you imagine if they had this deal when Tim Tebow joined the team and sold 500 trillion jerseys? The savings off Chandler Jones jerseys the following year would have bankrupted the Krafts.

But seriously, if the Patriots offered you a totally free jersey for cutting your guy before the current season ended, that would impact personnel decisions, and I would enjoy that.

What if one of New England's young receivers gets a DUI and punches a cop, all while wearing his own jersey? Better not cut him, or everybody will get free Revis jerseys next year (if they sign him long term).

Oh crap, go buy a Revis jersey right now. That's a solid investment if I've ever seen one.
Are the Seahawks Wise to Spend $97 Million ($67 Million Guaranteed) Over the Next Four Years on Two Defensive Backs?" -Ryan, via phone

First of all, thanks for calling in Ryan.

As for your question, you can never really know, but if both Earl Thomas (highest paid safety in the league) and Richard Sherman (highest paid corner in the league) stay healthy, these two contracts may not even be their last monster pay days. After all, Sherman is only 26, and has gotten better each year he's played since high school.

They are each the best at what they do in football, and together they make the Seahawks borderline impossible to throw downfield on. Though strong safety Kam Chancellor had a great Super Bowl, these two guys make the Legion of Boom, and indeed the entire Seattle defense, go. The next step will be locking up quarterback Russell Wilson long term, but that's still a couple years down the road.

Until then, there is a dynasty budding in the Pacific Northwest.
"Just How Popular is the NFL?"-Kate

Well, they ran their draft in direct competition with a pair of NBA playoff games and and a pair of NHL playoff games. During that time, the ticker on didn't have playoff scores, it had every pick of the draft.

I would love to see the numbers when they come out, but it's just unbelievable that that the NFL is popular enough to dominate the sports landscape on a night where there are four playoff games from two of the other "major" sports leagues.

Could you imagine the NBA draft running opposite an NFL playoff game?
"Who Will Win the Stanley Cup?"- Joe

I keep having images of the Bruins just smothering Pittsburgh in last year's Eastern Conference finals, but if the Penguins keep playing like they are right now, it's hard to see anybody slowing them down. That being said, they seem like they're due for a Sidney Crosby concussion.
Should Kobe Bryant Get a Say in the Lakers' Next Head Coach?"-Hope

Well, let's see. Bryant is 35 and currently hampered by knee issues, and LA has already made him the highest paid player in the league for the next two years… Yeah, seems like he should be making long-term plans for the franchise.
"Are We Destined for a Miami-San Antonio NBA Finals Rematch?"-George

With the up-and-down play of Indiana, Brooklyn acting its age, and the beat down the Clips and Thunder are going to put on each other, it certainly seems like it. I'm never a fan of championship rematches (Bulls over Jazz twice, Cowboys over Bills twice), but if there's any series that deserves an encore, it's last year's seven-game classic between the Heat and Spurs.

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