Good Help is Hard to Find: The Great Quarterback Search of 2016

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe)

Ed. Note- Since the posting of this article, the Browns have signed Robert Griffin III to a 2-year, $15 million contract, because of course they have.

We all know that quarterback is the most important position, not just in football, but in all of American sports.

The guy touches the ball (almost) every play, is responsible with making pre-snap reads/adjustments, needs to put the ball in the hands of his team's play makers, typically serves as the face of the franchise, and generally sets the tone for everything his coach wants to do offensively.

With all that in mind, it's pretty easy to see why players like Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees and Ben Roethlisberger have all signed $100 million deals in recent years. Heck, it's even understandable that players like Joe Flacco and Eli Manning have as well. At least they've proven to their teams they can win championships.

But in every NFL team's desperate search to find its next franchise quarterback, the market has gotten a little out of whack.

Joe & Daphne's Preview: The AFC North

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe) and Daphne Parello (@DaphnePup) - See more at: http://www.suitesports.com/2015/08/joe-daphnes-preview-nfc-north.html#sthash.gq5dkPEy.dpuf

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe) and Daphne Parello (@DaphnePup)

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe) and Daphne Parello (@DaphnePup) - See more at: http://www.suitesports.com/2015/08/joe-daphnes-preview-nfc-north.html#sthash.gq5dkPEy.dpuf

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe) and Daphne Parello (@DaphnePup) - See more at: http://www.suitesports.com/2015/08/joe-daphnes-preview-nfc-north.html#sthash.gq5dkPEy.dpuf

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe) and Daphne Parello (@DaphnePup) - See more at: http://www.suitesports.com/2015/08/joe-daphnes-preview-nfc-north.html#sthash.gq5dkPEy.dpuf

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe) and Daphne Parello (@DaphnePup) - See more at: http://www.suitesports.com/2015/08/joe-daphnes-preview-nfc-north.html#sthash.gq5dkPEy.dpuf

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe) and Daphne Parello (@DaphnePup) - See more at: http://www.suitesports.com/2015/08/joe-daphnes-preview-nfc-north.html#sthash.gq5dkPEy.dpuf

My puppy and I have covered every other division in the NFL, and today we preview the most wide-open division in pro football; the AFC North.

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe) and Daphne Parello (@DaphnePup) - See more at: http://www.suitesports.com/2015/08/joe-daphnes-preview-nfc-north.html#sthash.gq5dkPEy.dpuf

The North has three teams with legitimate playoff hopes (Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Cincinnati all made the playoffs in 2014), and another that has just enough talent to be intriguing (Cleveland returns a Top-10 defense and strong offensive line).

Which of these potentially explosive squads will be kings of the North?

Daphne and I investigate.

Condescending Sports Statements Made by "Mean Girls" Characters

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe)

In one of my previous click bait blogs I included a picture of "Mean Girls" era Lindsey Lohan. As you know, "Mean Girls" Lindsay is the best Lindsay, and I figured since this year is the 10th Anniversary of that truly classic film, I'd give it it's own article.

Here they are, condescending sports statements made by "Mean Girls" characters.

The Late, But Obligatory Huge NFL Draft Wrap

Michael Sam was the story of this year's draft, but what can he actually bring on the field?

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe)

This past weekend's NFL Draft was one of the most intriguing and eventful in recent memory, so of course I spent my entire Sunday… Sunbathing with my wife on the roof.

Yeah, sorry, it was a long winter here in Boston, and I was grabbing the sun while it was there.

Consequently, this massive NFL Draft recap was pushed back a bit, but have no fear. I'm still here to tell you what to think about your favorite team's draft.

Let's get to it.

Seven Sports Questions Asked By Attractive Celebrities

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe)

Last week, we brought you first installment in our new series of click bait articles.

That Pulitzer-worthy blog featured adorable animals asking all the burning sports questions of the day. Not gonna lie, it's going to be tough to top that one. But, if there's one thing people love to stare at on the internet other than cute animals (and, uh, other stuff), it's a beautiful famous person.

With that in mind, we bring you everything you need to know about sports this week, asked by a bunch of people far more attractive than you or I.

2014: A Draft Mockery

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe)

A come on, you know the deal.

Here is my one, and only, mock draft (I don't get 33 rough drafts, Mel Kiper), including each team's projected selection and mocking team needs.

Enjoy!

1. Houston Texans
Team Needs: QB, OT, OLB, Ed Reed, Extension for Matt Schaub

Jadeveon Clowney, DE/OLB, South Carolina

Houston wouldn't mind trading this pick if the right offer comes along, but if they stand pat they certainly wouldn't mind locking up the Apex Predator that is Jadeveon Clowney.

NFL Draft Storylines

Blake Bortles led UCF to a historic season in 2013, but where will he go in the 2014 NFL Draft?

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe)

The 2014 NFL Draft is being hailed by scouts as the best in a decade, and there will be no shortage of storylines during ESPN's three-day coverage extravaganza.

We've already discussed the incredible storylines that came out of the last highly anticipated draft class, the class of 2004, but here are some things that may happen when the draft begins Thursday night.

To Trade, or Not to Trade

It's always a question for the team at No. 1, and this year's Texans are an odd case. They resemble last season's Chiefs in the sense that they are more talented than their terrible record shows, but they'll need to get healthy and find an impact player to shoot them back toward the playoffs.

Jadeveon Clowney is a once-in-a-decade talent, but there are questions about his motor and technique. Basically, we're manufacturing reasons why this freak athlete might not be good.

Revisiting Our March Man Crushes: Mistakes Were Made

By Joe Parello  @HerewegoJoe

For those of you new to the site, you may not be familiar with the man crush battle royal editor Jeremy Conlin and I did last year: March Man Crushes.

You can click here for the rules, but basically we seeded a tournament that featured 64 guys that are totally man crush-worthy, and had them duke it out to determine the Grand Man Crush.

In the end, my choice Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson prevailed over Jeremy's pick, Jon Hamm, for the title.

Clearly, those two choices show what each of us values in a man. Jeremy wants to be a suave, good looking, suit wearing dude that everyone knows is well endowed.

I, on the other hand, want to have big muscles, get oiled up with cocoa butter and smash people with chairs while wearing a Speedo.

Both are certainly great ideals to strive for.

Anyways, while Jeremy and I are in the process of coming up with a new tournament to do later this month, let's revisit some of the biggest mistakes, trends and surprises from last year's March Man Crushes.

Winners and Losers from the NFL Combine… So Far

 

Few players have accomplished so much in college, yet come into the Combine as scrutinized as Johnny Manziel. Basically, he's this year's Tim Tebow.

By Joe Parello  @HerewegoJoe

The NFL Combine is halfway over, and we've already had a near record-setting run in the 40-yard dash, an openly gay player being welcomed with open arms and a few "RED FLAGS" being tossed out by national pundits. We've still got two days left, but seriously, you've got work to do. You're not gonna watch a bunch of guys run through cones during the week… Are you?

Either way, here are our winners and losers from the first two days of the NFL Scouting Combine.

Winners

Johnny Manziel

There's going to be so much debate about Manziel as the draft gets closer, but the 2012 Heisman Trophy winner did everything in his workout to at least prove that he's physically ready.

The height question really doesn't matter anymore, what with Drew Brees turning into one of the best quarterbacks ever and Russell Wilson leading a Super Bowl winner in Seattle, but Johnny Football was actually a little taller than I anticipated, officially measuring in at just a quarter-inch under 6-foot.

College Football Weekend Primer: Shame on the NCAA (Again) and the First Quarterly Report

NCAA President Mark Emmert says reducing Penn State's sanctions is "the right thing to do."

By Joe Parello  @HerewegoJoe

I think we can all now admit that last weekend featured one of the lamest college football slates in recent memory.

As editor Jeremy Conlin pointed out in our Weekend Football Recap, there was only one game between ranked teams (Though Arizona State shouldn't have been ranked), and I would add that the "marquee SEC matchup" of Florida and Tennessee was largely on affront on the game itself. Even if you clicked away from that turnover-fest to see the competitive Notre Dame-Michigan State game, you were treated to inept offense and vanilla play calling.

Meh.

But fear not college football fans, because exciting football returns this week with four different battles between ranked opponents. For more on those, the NCAA dropping the ball yet again, and our NCAA Football Quarterly Report, keep reading after the jump.

Weekend Football Roundup - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

It was a huge weekend for the Seahawks... And their fans.

 By Jeremy Conlin (@jeremy_conlin) and Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe)

Every Tuesday during football season, editors Jeremy and Joe will bring you the good, the bad and the ugly from the college and pro football weekend that was. 


The Good

Everything The Seattle Seahawks Do 

I mean, we all saw that game, right? Russell Wilson didn't have a ton of success throwing the ball (just 8 for 19 for 142 yards and a passer rating of 63.9), but pretty much everything else that happened in the game went Seattle's way. Their pass rush was overwhelming, they stopped inside runs before they even started, they forced turnovers, and generally beat up the most physical team in the league. We're only in Week 2 but I wouldn't be surprised if three months from now we looked back and decided that beating the 49ers by 26 points was the most impressive win of the season by any team.

-JC

Seattle's 12th Man

Not only did Seattle's football team dismantle division rival San Francisco on Sunday night, Seattle's coffee drinking, flannel wearing, Nirvana cover band forming fans also set a Guinness World Record for loudest stadium. The Seahawks' now famed 12th Man achieved the two highest decibel levels ever reached in a stadium, first 131.76 decibels in the first quarter, then 136.6 decibels during a third quarter goal line stand.

There wasn't much reason to cheer in the fourth, as the first 11 men of the Seahawks took care of business early down on the field. If you're curious, the 12th Man broke the previous record of 131.76 set by fans of the Turkish soccer club Galatasaray S.K. Haha, suck it Turkey! USA! USA! USA!

-JP  

Your College Football Weekend Primer: Saban vs Johnny

Striking the Heisman pose and beating Alabama made Johnny Manziel a household name in 2012.

By Joe Parello  @HerewegoJoe

The college football season really gets going this week with, maybe, the most anticipated game of the year.

You just know Nick Saban, even with yet another crystal football in hand, has been sporting a throbbing hate boner for Johnny Manziel since he torched the Tide last year in Tuscaloosa. That means Bama will be even more focused than usual for A&M. Like, they're going to go from everyday sociopath focused, to American Psycho focused this week.

Bob Lobel: Tim Tebow, Johnny Football and the Return of the NFL

By Bob Lobel  @boblobel

Sometime it isn’t clear what the letters "NCAA" stand for. 

No Class At All?  Perhaps. That self-important, self-indulgent collection of wanna-be FBI-ers really often does stupid things.  Even when the things they do define stupidity. Johnny Football and Texas A&M were very dumb doing the autograph thing, but the college athletic police were even dumber.  It is a broken system being run by people that are self perpetuating their own lack of common sense.  

What's even more ridiculous is everyone involved with them knows it, yet simultaneously doesn’t have a clue. 

Your College Football Kickoff Primer

Jadeveon Clowney (leaping) and Aaron Murray (holding ball nervously) will each represent the SEC against stiff non-conference competition this weekend.

By Joe Parello  @HerewegoJoe

You know, people love to hate on ESPN.

Fans and bloggers just love to beat up on the worldwide leader for its programming (TIM TEBOW HOUR) and its ability to control the sports landscape by acquiring the television rights to pretty much everything.

Well, ESPN is proving to be a benevolent dictator for college football (At least for fans watching at home), as the network is delivering one heck of an opening weekend. While there are certainly a lot of things wrong with college football, ESPN setting up marquee matchups to kick the season off isn't one of them. The network's pairing of Alabama and Virginia Tech in the Chick-fil-A Kickoff Classic is just one example of an ESPN ratings move that is beneficial to everyone involved.

Oh, and that night's late game between LSU and TCU in Dallas… Also an ESPN creation.

Anyways, here is what else you should be watching for on college football's opening weekend which, like every good college weekend, begins Thursday night.

Long and Suite Preview: NCAA Football National Outlook

Clemson's Tajh Boyd will look to throw (and run) his way to the Heisman Trophy.

By Joe Parello  @HerewegoJoe

We conclude our ever-so-long college football preview with my national outlook. If you missed the preview for your favorite (or least favorite) conference, I have linked to all of those previews below.

The Pac 12

Non-Automatic Qualifying Conferences

The Big 12

The Big Ten/Notre Dame

The AAC

The ACC

The SEC


Now, let's talk Heisman and BCS hopefuls.

Long and Suite Preview: The SEC

A Vanderbilt player is the pic on our SEC preview??? Believe the hype with Jordan Matthews.

By Joe Parello  @HerewegoJoe

The SEC has long been one of college football's best conferences, but the BCS era will forever be remembered as the time it became THE dominant conference.

Behind a mini-Florida dynasty and a full-blown Alabama dynasty, the SEC has won the last seven BCS National Championships, and nine out of the 15 BCS titles all time (That doesn't even count how the 2005 Auburn Tigers went undefeated and weren't given a chance to play for a title).

With the end of the BCS upon us, there are plenty of SEC teams with a chance to bring the conference its 10th BCS crown. But, with Nick Saban returning a ton of talent at Alabama, we could see the first back-to-back-to-back national champions in the poll era.

Johnny Football Problems

I guess growing up is hard no matter who you are...

By Joe Parello  @HerewegoJoe

If you haven't already read Wright Thompson's piece on Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manziel for ESPN the Magazine, trust me when I say it is the most insightful thing you will read about Johnny Football this week.

In the piece we learn about Johnny, a 20-year old whose world has been turned upside-down by the instant fame of becoming the first freshman to ever win the Heisman. We read about the mobs of people trying to get a piece of Johnny Football, the bikini model girlfriend he broke up with after she ranked too high on a blog's "hot girlfriend/wife" list, his use of alcohol to detach himself from it all, and the family that is concerned for his well-being.

Basically, he's a 20-year old dude living the dream.

Let's Bet on College Football!!!!

Are you really betting on this dude to win the Heisman again?

By Joe Parello  @HerewegoJoe

I know I can't be the only person out there starving for football. I mean, seriously, I actually spent some of my Saturday watching the the Saskatchewan Rough Riders and Edmonton Eskimos play a first half that ended 22-1.

One point! In football!

The only reason I was even watching the game was because one of my all-time favorite Boilers Kory Sheets was Saskatchewan's starting running back, but watching him just made me yearn for college football season. Luckily, Las Vegas had my back, coming out with future odds on who will win the BCS National Championship and Heisman Trophy, plus over/unders for each FBS squad.

Now, I'm not a betting man, but here are the wagers that caught my eye.

Bet The Third-Tier Quarterbacks to Win the Heisman

With 3/1 odds, reigning Heisman winner/Scooby-Doo enthusiast Johnny Manziel is Vegas' favorite to again win the award in 2013. Ohio State's Braxton Miller follows him at 6/1, and South Carolina defensive end/apex predator Jadeveon Clowney checks in at third with 10/1 odds.