Captain America: Civil War Succeeds in Every Way Batman v Superman Fails

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe)

Statistically speaking, if you are a male under the age of 35, and over the age of 10, you've probably seen Captain America: Civil War.

The superhero mega flick has already taken in over $215 million domestically, and over $765 million worldwide in its first six days in theaters, passing Deadpool at the international box office for the title of top hero flick of the year... So far.

This hot start is made even more impressive by the fact that the film's premier came before middle and high school kids were released for the summer (sorry nerdy adults, kids are still the primary audience for superhero movies).

Cap's fight with his former buddy Iron Man has also drawn nearly universal praise from critics, earning a 90% from critic aggregator site Rotten Tomatoes, and garnering glowing reviews from the New York Times, Boston Globe and Wall Street Journal.

But wait, didn't a superhero fighting another superhero movie already come out this year, and didn't everybody hate it?


Minimal spoilers below.

Batman v Superman v Critics v Attention Spans

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe)

So, I finally bit the bullet last night and saw the new Batman-Superman movie. I told you I would last week, mostly because these characters are too damn important to miss, especially when this flick is their first meeting on the big screen.

So, was it as bad as all the reviews made it out to be?

Not quite, but this thing has a lot of flaws. Here's a quick rundown, with no spoilers (that aren't in the trailers), but I'll get into specifics, with spoilers, at the bottom. Don't worry, I'll warn you when the spoilers are coming. Seriously, I will.

First, the good.

-I still like Henry Cavill as Superman/Clark Kent. He's a handsome boy scout, and I actually kind of buy his on-screen chemistry with Amy Adams' Lois Lane. When you consider that this could have gone the way of Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman, I'll call it a win that I don't hate watching these two interact.

-Also, Affleck ain't a bad Batman. No, really!

I mean, he's a different Batman. He's a PTSD, "I've seen some $#it" kinda Batman. But, it sorta works.

Just Take My Money, Super Hero Movies

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe)

We've reached a day that many a comic book nerd has waited for with bated breath: The opening of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in theaters nationwide.

But this Good Friday may not be so great for the Caped Crusader and Big Blue Jesus, as critics have been slamming the film for the past week. I've personally watched BvS sink like a rock on Rotten Tomatoes' "TomatoMeter," going from a 45% critic approval early in the week, to the 30% it sits at as I type this.

Still, the same site reports that 74% of the audience enjoyed the movie, so it can't be that bad, right?

Well, no, it can still be awful. If the previews are any indication of the actual movie, it's going to be a slow, brooding, pretentious build to one fight scene between Batty and Supes, before they shoehorn Wonder Woman, Doomsday, Lex Luthor and Aquaman all in at the end.

That all seems to make for a bloated and discombobulated normal film, but it's exactly what I want in a super hero movie.